The Power of God’s Love
It’s Thursday, 24th of April 2008… 2216 hours…
The power of God’s love. It’s truly amazing and breath-taking. Yesterday afternoon, I was letting out my frustration here and asking and seeking for God’s help. Miraclely, He did answer me only He didn’t answer me face-to-face but through someone else.
After I had finish with my blog posting yesterday, I conducted a Bible study with my friends which I had initially planned earlier. It’s about faith and to be honest, I wasn’t feeling all passion about it and I wasn’t really quite in the mood at all.
Reluctantly, I carried on and through halfway the Bible study. I felt a bit better when it came to the Q & A part. I did partake in it and sort of share out a bit of my frustration. But at the same time, I also told them how I was going to overcome my problem.
The funny thing here is that before that, I only knew of grumbling about it but not thinking about how to solve it. But as I when through the Bible study, there were some words which I had previously read, realize me about the important of having a strong faith.
After we finish our Bible study together. I did a small but quite emotional (which I was almost crying) prayer for all of my sister-in-Christ. As I prayed, I felt my heart being touch by the Holy Spirit and that time I really couldn’t continue on praying.
I felt so weak at that time but also a sense of renewal was overwhelming inside of me. In the end, I manage to finish up the prayer but ended up sobbing. To be honest, though I felt a bit relieve but my heart was still in pain.
When I went back to my room. I saw a book on my table which had the title "Healthy Youth Ministries Have Spiritually Healthy Leaders". I asked my roommate who put it here and he told me that a Chinese guy did.
One person came to my mind who could put it there, and I guess it was David, my previous CF president. At first, I just glance at it and didn’t understand why did he put it there for me? I mean, why do I need that for? I don’t think that I want to read that kind of book now since my mind is not organize well now.
As these question keep running through my mind. My body seem to have another mind of its own. Before I knew it, I was standing right in front of his room. So I knocked and as usual in his cheerful greeting He greeted me in and I asked him about the book and then he began to explain.
He say that it was really a good book especially for youths who are full with passion for God’s works. I at that moment I felt that I think I had enough passion to tell what to do for God. He told me that He really learn a lot from this book and He just had an extra copy so He just thought of passing it on to me.
You see, at that time, I though I knew I had enough passion and knew what I was doing for God. I know the works I was doing and the good things I’m showing to others.
But that all change my mind when I started reading the book. In the first chapter, it starts off by portraiting two different individuals. The first one was full with passion for God and was always planning interesting programmes and activities. The other was an experienced youth worker and knew what can hype really bring in the end.
When I had finish chapter one of the book. I started to reflect back on myself. Was I like that too. Was I too arrogant to see myself that the more I try to please everyone. The further was I from God. That’s why He’s letting me suffering now. He wants me to come back to Him. Oh, how could I had sinned against Him.
I was spending all my time doing the work of God without being a person of God. To make me realize that, God simply remind me that, " I can never do enough, He wants me to know an important truth that will save me a lot of pain, heartache, and time if I can understand that, I can never do enough. For there is always more to be done.
I started off well when I was starting my second semester but I lost my sense direction towards the end of the semester. The fact was, I wasn’t really concentrating well. I thought I was doing all right and I didn’t really consulted Him and I though I knew what I was doing.
When I was reading through the other chapters in that book. It seems so clear to me what I needed to do. I need to reestablish that connection with My Heavenly Father again. I had allowed myself to be overwhelm with the earthly materials that without realizing I had put Him aside.
So now, I have two great mission which I must accomplish in this period of holidays. First is to seek Him like I never did before. I want to place Him first in my heart again. I want to feel His love for me again. That feeling of belonging to someone who loves you.
And the second mission is to practice and equip myself with all the necessary information I need for my course. It will be a tough semester ahead so I plan to prepare myself well before I head back for my second year.
These two great mission. I commit it into my Father’s hand. May His wisdom and guidance lead me through this plan of mine. I don’t really want to think of anything else other than to build back my relationship with Him.
Besides, I had also promise my brothers and sisters-in-Christ that I will improve and be a better brother for them. Through Christ, I can do all things for He gives me the power and wisdom which is beyond my own capability.
My journey begins now. It won’t be easy but I’m not giving up now and never will I for He did not give up on me so why must I give up on Him.
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And now these three remains: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 1 Corinthians 13:13
