Detective Saviour’s Files

It’s Sunday, 8th of June 2008… 0934 hours…

The title ‘Reflection’ reminded me of the Sabbath day that I used to had in Camp Cameron ‘08. Many things back home needed my attention and to be honest, I just wish that I don’t have to face it. It’s not easy after going through such happiness for three weeks and then you have to return back to reality.

For what I’m feeling now is just wanting to go back to campus and start my new semester for this academic year. Just one week and the problems at home seem to get the better of me. I do feel ashamed when I think of this for before I left camp. I was really inspired to bring a different but day by day, the problems just seem to weary me down.

Since I left camp, I still practise quiet time by myself. I do find God speaking to me through His words but I just don’t know how to apply it. What concerns me more is will I be able to still practise quiet time when I start my new semester? I’ll be busy with my clinic practises and I’m just scare that I’ll be too exhausted to continue it on.

I haven’t finish my assignment yet. I have the information that I need but I haven’t actually read it through and sort it out in the correct order which I need. That would probably take me about 2 -3 hours or so I guess. This whole week, the only thing that I did the most was lying on bed the whole day.

I just don’t get it? Why do i feel so lazy all of a sudden? I don’t behave like this before. Maybe my body need to really recharge itself but I find it ridiculous for I remembered studying late at night during my exams and waking up early yet still feel energetic.

Speaking about exams. My result was out and I really thank God for it. I scored a 3.28 for my previous semester and my average grade for my first year is 3.02. That was something that really made me feel good this week. I remember performing badly for my first semester and was called to my lecturer’s office.

The only thing to avoid myself from entering there again is to make it up in my second semester and thank God I did it. Those nights of staying up late and revising every spare time that I had, I give thanks to God for sustaining me throughout those time.

To be honest, I feel I didn’t speak that much this week. That’s another thing that bothers me. I’m not doing what I’m suppose to be doing. In the Cantonese term, there’s a word called ‘cin ka’ and that’s what I feel about myself now. Breaking a promise because of fear.

My Lord, why am I feeling like this? I don’t understand myself now? There is two part living in me and each half is telling me two different things to do. One is telling me to start make some differences and the other is telling me to hold on and just wait first. I read through Your words and I can’t seem to apply it in my life. Have I lost my faith? No, I don’t think so. Why do I feel so weak inside? My mind and heart has become the enemy of my soul. The two is telling me to do things the other way round. Father please help me. I seek for Your wisdom and comfort in dealing with this matter. I alone cannot do it without Your grace. Please sustain me Father.

After letting it out, I feel a bit better now. Well, tomorrow I’ll be going back to the kindergarten to finish up my report. I do miss those kids and I’ll just see what has happen to them since I was gone for three weeks.

"A man of understanding is of a calm spirit" ~ Proverbs 17:27

It’s Sunday, 1st of June 2008… 2156 hours…

The end. Camp Cameron 2008 closed its curtain on Friday with goodbyes, hugging, and cryings. Three weeks of camp and I can say that I had learnt a lot from the experiences I had with God and also with my family members.

I was staying with another 20 other people which we were called as a family and through the good and bad times, we pull ourselves along the journey. The laughing and crying moments in this camp is something I will not forget for the rest of my life.

I really experience God personally in this camp and seen how He struggle with me with my personal problems that had been haunting me all these while. To actually look back with all these problems was not an easy thing for me but I thank Him that He wanted me to help myself and also provided friends to be there for me.

Living together for 3 weeks could sound fun but there was always some problems here and there, especially regarding the bathroom and toilet since there is only one in each chalet. The girls were sleeping in the chalet and the guys will sleep in another place but all of our family meetings will be done in our own chalet.

Organize by the FES, I have to say that I really admire the effort and hard work that they had putted for this camp. It was indeed a success and I believe that they had seen a lot of the student’s life change after this camp and one of them is me. I finally know what is my mission that God had placed me in my family and also in my campus.

As one big family, I have a Grandpa, three Grandmas, an Uncle, an Aunty, a Papa, a Mama, three brothers, and nine sisters. So plus me and all together you have twenty-one in my family. My family is known as the Family of Chalet Ten or we also called ourselves as the LAME Family, because of our lame jokes. Haha…

I had taken some pictures of the memorial events I had there and I placed it soon in my friendster and also in my Facebook account. To be honest, there is just so much to say about the camp and I don’t think that I can write all here. Ask me personally if you want to know more and I’ll be happy to tell you.

On Friday when it was time for us to leave. I really feel like not leaving the camp site. The bond that I had with my family members was very intimate for me and I did my very best to hold back my tears as we all say our goodbyes and started to hug each other. But we promise to keep in touch.

Even now, I really miss all of them. Though we were always noisy but all of them had taught me what a true family is. On the last day, I read out my poem to them. It was a poem about my family and I will end my blog with it.

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The Family of Chalet Ten (2008)

*

This is a story of our lovely family

The twenty-one of us may be crazy

But only six of their hair are curly

And there’s another two whom their hair are wavy

*

We have a Grandpa and three Grandmas

A caring Papa and a loving Mama

A uncle and a aunty who loves us so much

And thirteen cute cheeky children who cause them trouble

*

Grandpa Joshua is known as the irresistible grandpa

And that is why we have three grandmas

Grandma Swee Kit gave us all the good genes

But we wonder why we are naughty in our teens

*

In the second week, Grandma Grace was welcomed in the family

And thanks to her, our food is prepared with love and care

In the final week, Grandma Adrene was added to the family

She’s a cheerful person yet firm at her stand

*

Uncle Lucas flew all the way from Indonesia

Just to take care of us here in Malaysia

Aunty Mun Yee took care of us full with love

And that’s why by her action we are so moved

*

Papa Timothy is a man who loves sport

If you want to challenge him then meet him in the court

Mama Hooi Keng will make sure there’s breakfast before she sleep

And then join the girls to brush their teeth

*

Sun Sun is the eldest and she loves to smile

But we admire her for she sometimes will do the extra mile

Then come Melissa who is the quiet and gentle

With her gentleness, our family can win any battle

*

Big brother Boon Chuan comes next in line

Ask him anything and all you get is a smile

Joanne is the fourth who loves the colour red

Treat her some chocolate and you won’t regret

*

From the east comes Angela who may be small

But don’t underestimate her for her spirit is high

Shih Han is next who seldom give anyone any worry

But don’t you dare argue with her or you might be sorry

*

Early in the morning, Dawn will be in the kitchen

And breakfast will be served before the crow of the chicken

Yen Hong is one of the active girl we ever know

She might be a great athlete for all we know

*

From Cameroon, we have Francis by our side

He cooks well and you’ll definitely want a bite

Nago was born with a natural talent in singing’

And that’s why the birds are always chirping

*

Next in line is Gabriel who loves to eat

He is still skinny but still good in beads

Suleen has a cute pillow by her side

And she always cheer everyone with her smile

*

Shoo Chen is the youngest in the family

Though she might be cheeky but she’s still lovely

So that’s the complexity of our family

We may be big but it’s all by God’s grace

*

There are times we may argue with each other

But our Grandpa and Grandmas will remind us to be together

So that is how we grew up as a lovely family

Through good times and bad times, we shared our life

*

We may not know what will the future hold

But we’ll trust in the Lord and love one another as it was been told

We will part our ways one day but our caring will never end

So that’s the story of the Family of Chalet Ten

                                                           (26/5/2008; 5: 39 pm)