Detective Saviour’s Files

It’s Monday, 4th of February 2008… 0035 hours…

Great news, I’m back to my hometown since two days ago and do I really miss this place. The little rainy town. Currently, I’m trying to squeeze my one week holiday with the plans that I had made. Officially I can say that 25% of it has come true but I doubt that I can complete it all in time.

I do want this break to be a relaxing week for me but alas, I have another three more assignment to go and two more exams to sit once I’m back to Kelantan. At the same time, I need to study for my other subjects. Haih… Some holiday huh…

But, I’ll try to finish up as many as I can. I’ll be going back this Friday and my class start on Sunday. So, I still have this Saturday if I need to do any last minute work. Like the saying goes, Georgians are good in last minute work. Haha… But seriously, that doesn’t apply anymore in university life.

Last month was quite a hectic month but I’m glad that it’s over. The Chinese New Year celebration was a successful event and I was really proud to be a part of it. Our first officially CONVEX meeting with everyone when according to plan. I really thank God for all this.

I took some photograph of St. Anne Sanctuary in Penang when I visit my Grandma yesterday. Oh, by the way, I just bought a camera two days ago. Hehe…

Well, since the week before my break start. I was ask by a friend of mine to be her tutor in anatomy. At first I was quite shock and afraid because I wasn’t really doing to well in that particular subject but I agree to help out as much as I can.

But you know what, I’m glad that I agree because not only I’m  doing her a favour. I’m also helping myself because now I need to revise more before we start our revision class together and I’m suppose to find the answer for her questions.

And what makes things more scary for me is that some of my friends seem to be praising my notes and start to borrow it from me. What I meant by scary is I’m not really good in anatomy but I guess, when you have a bunch of friends who are in the same boat with you and wish to excel. You find yourself doing much better.

I’m really happy because God really answered my prayers when I asked for help in my studies. Truly, He is a God who answer prayers, according to His will.

It’s Wednesday, 9th of January 2008… 1424 hours…

Before I start, guess where am I now? Yes, obviously in my university but I’m sitting in front of the library for the air-corn decided to break down. But I love the breeze that the wind is bringing. It’s so relaxing.

It’s really a hectic month. For start, I have Chinese New Year sketch practise to do, assignments to finish and studies to catch up. Oh yeah, I now even need to be a salesman and start selling around my campus. Its a subject called Keusahawanan which is compulsory for all 1st year.

Somehow, I find it a waste of time for I need to sell something for 3 weeks. As if I have nothing better else to do. It’s going to be time consuming and really tiring this few weeks. Now I just longed for the one week holiday during Chinese New Year. I need a break.

On top of that, I also have CONVEX stuff to do. I’m officially now the treasurer for this year CONVEX. I want MONEY and nothing else. Haha…

No, just joking. I want the Holy Spirit to be in me and guide and teach me in everything that I do and say.

Well, even though I sometimes hardly find any time to study but there is always a private time which I allocate for God. I always find that He has something new to say to me everyday.

I so badly hope that I’ll be able to play badminton tomorrow, provided I can book the courts. I already have the people but I just need a place.

Well, that’s all for now. Take care and God Bless…

It’s Thursday, 20th December 2007… 1413 hours…

The Christian Fellowship held an event to celebrate Christmas last Monday, Christmas Night 2007. And it was because of that I skip one week of my holiday to come back and help out in the preparation and also to prepare my script.

I was one of the emcee that night and also participate in the choir. Well, it was indeed a success. Not to us but to God. For that night was to spread the gospel of the good news that we as Christian are to tell to the world.

Receiving the gift of gifts. That Jesus Christ was the gift and within this gift lies additionally other gifts. The forgiveness of sins, a place with our Heavenly Father in heaven, receiving the Holy Spirit. This is what the real meaning of Christmas is all about.

Before coming back here, I had this uncertainty in my heart but now I feel so much comfort like I never felt before. I feel so peaceful and happy in my heart. I never experience  anything like this before and I’m glad that it happen to me now.

For now, I realise that there so much to do rather than grieving about your loss. I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me this peace, I also thank Jesus that He died for my sins, and also I thank the Holy Spirit for granting me the gifts which makes my soul so complete.

A lot of my friends back here said that I really change after this holiday and I had to agree with them for I also felt the change within me. And because of that, I will share this feeling with all my friends. Telling them the feeling of joy you will receive when you give God take full control of your life.

We’re having a small Christmas celebration this Christmas day. Especially for those who are staying back here for this Christmas instead of going back to celebrate with our family. But I want something more than just celebrating, I want do some sharing with them about how my life change in this one month.

I’m also joining the Chinese New Year Sketch as a minister but my role isn’t that big. Except for the banquet part where I need to be on stage for 40 minutes. The good thing is that I’ll be eating during that time. Real food. Hm… Now that’s an offer you can’t refuse. Haha…

Need to study this 3 days holiday that I have but instead I’m online now. That’s the problem when you have a temptation. Haha… Now to log off and study.

It’s Sunday, 9th December 2007… 2053 hours…

I’ll be going back to Kelantan tomorrow. A bit earlier than my schedule where I’m suppose to be back before the 16th of this month before the second semester commence. But I have some things that I need to see to.

It may sounds like I’m quite busy but the fact is, I just indulge myself in all the work I can find to occupy my mind so at least I won’t be feeling so worry or troubled. I enjoy the time at home but I realise that I still need to go back.

It may feels a bit awkward now but I can’t blame anyone for I myself will react the same way. I just hope that it won’t last long for there is one thing which I hate is to indulge myself in a situation or problem and thinking it over and over again. That’s my biggest weak point.

I came back with two bags and now I’ll be going back four bags. The two bags still remains my own stuff and the other two is full with foods. If you have parents like mine, you’ll understand why. It’s quite troublesome but I’m just too lazy to argue with them. As long it makes them happy, I’ll just have to go along.

I’m bringing my printer along because I just can’t stand paying the price every time I need to print something from the PPSK Computer Lab. Besides, it’s quite far to walk to.

I just wonder how will this second semester be? By the way, I pass my first semester examination and I was really happy with that.

For this coming semester, I just hope that any mistake which I made previously will be redeem and any broken bonds will be attached again. I just want things to be alright again.

*

Dear Lord, be merciful to me;

My sin has grieved Your heart;

And grant to me Your strength anew

To make a fresh, new start.

It’s Tuesday, 4th December 2007… 1905 hours…

I have accidentally heard from a friend of mine that he have some friends who he consider them as a part of his family. When I heard that my name was not mentioned at all, I felt quite sad because I believe that I had helped him more than anyone he had ever known.

I begin to feel what is it that they had done until this friend of mine consider them as part of his family and had totally forgotten about me? Didn’t I offer my help even though you didn’t ask for it?

I just don’t understand? But somehow, I didn’t lose my mind nor did I feel depress. Before I had the chance to think throughout what has gone wrong in this relationship, I remember the topic for today’s Our Daily Bread.

It was about loving one another uncondtionally like how Jesus did when He died on the cross for our sins. I read the topic over and over again and each time I read it, I begin to understand the real meaning of loving unconditionally.

In 1 John 3:18, John talked about what are we to do when we see others in need. He told us to have active compassion: "Let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed." When we see a need, it’s good to talk about it, but we must also do something about it. We are instructed: "Be doers of the Word, and not hearers only" (James 1:22)

Helping or loving someone has to be from the heart and spirit that the Lord has given to each of us. Expect nothing in return except for the joyful smile that you will see in the person’s face that you had helped.

Maybe this is something that really had made me change my perspective on giving and taking.  I shouldn’t always expect for something in return when I do a good deed. Love in deed is love indeed. Compassion is love in action.

*

Lord, when I learn that someone is hurting,

Help me know what to do and to say;

Speak to my heart and give me compassion,

Let Your great love flow through me today.

*

It’s Wednesday, 28th November 2007… 1151 hours…

This is a story which all of a sudden came to me in a dream last night. It somehow express how I felt deep inside but only it was in a different situation. When I thought about the dream, I can clearly see what was the message about. Though it was in the battlefield, it was some sort like mine just that it was expressed in metaphors.

I was in the battlefield, alone, my whole entire base was completely wipe out by the massive attack of my enemies. I was there standing alone, with only a dagger in my pocket and a rifle sling around me. I check my ammunition and to my horror I was left with just 3 bullets.

I knew at that time, all hope was lost for me. I, alone, going against the entire battalion of my enemies. What hope is there for me to overcome my enemies when I myself was badly wounded not just physical but emotionally and mentally.

Standing alone in the field with dead bodies surrounding me, I thought of the only logically thing that was right at that moment. That is I reach for my dagger and end my misery life once and for all. For what good is it for me, if i go against my enemies knowing that the result will be a complete failure.

The pain and sufferings that I have been carrying since the dead of my troops was like a fire burning deep inside of me. Each time I see a soldier fall down, my sufferings just grow stronger. Wondering when will my turn be next?

I was determined, I held the dagger in my hand and was about to cut my left wrist. Somehow, I didn’t know where did I get the courage of attempting suicide but I know that it must be done. I close my eyes in despair and lay the dagger in my wrist.

Just as the sharp edge of the dagger was about to pierce into my skin, I heard a voice ringing in my head. I opened my eyes and the voice was becoming more clearly. It was reading to me passage from the Bible. It was from Psalms 23.

*

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

He leads me beside quiet waters,

He restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for His name’s sake.

Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for You are with me;

your rod and staff,

They comfort me.

You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

*

With that, I woke up with a strange feeling deep inside of me. I felt my heart was not trouble nor was I afraid at all. I looked at the clock and it was 10 am, this was the longest sleep I have ever had. Then, another verse start to ring in my head. It was from Proverbs 3, 5 - 6.

*

Trust in the Lord with all you heart

and lean not on your own understanding;

in all ways acknowledge Him,

and He will make your paths straight.

*

The moral of this story, I leave it all in the verses. It can easily be spotted out if only you wanted to. That is what I had learned from this story. Every advice I need was all in His words.

It’s Monday, 26th of November 2007… 2359 hours…

What does it takes to start anew? Does some things can be truly forgotten? Even though it is forgiven? To forgive and forget. Easier said than done, it takes more than mere words of "I’m sorry" to mend things back.

Starting all over again is not something that everybody would want to do after all the hard work that had been put to see it become a success. Building it involves a lot of steps but destroying it requires a simple mistakes which can be sometimes just words said at the wrong time.

To begin again requires courage and a strong self-esteem which I sometimes seem to lack of. Starting fresh again is very easy if only the guilt inside of you does not consume your consciousness.

Maybe it’s the perspective that needs to be change or is it just the attitude? Probably it’s the attitude I guess. But starting all over again is something I’m not so sure because things can never be the same again.

To regret is worse than to do it. Taking the risk always have a price to be paid for.

It’s Thursday, 22nd of November 2007… 1137 hours…

It’s my first semester holiday now and it will last for one month. But I won’t be spending the whole month here back home, I’ll be going back to Kelantan on the 10th of next month because I need to do some preparation for the Christmas Night and also meet some seniors regarding the Chinese New Year sketch…

Four months, come and go, and I didn’t imagine myself before that I’ll be feeling a bit moody when I return back home during the holidays. Probably because of something I did or something I said which made me in this state…

I try to enjoy the holidays but somehow, I still wonder on how to fix the problem. Because after the break, I still need to go back there and face the problem. Running away isn’t always the solution nor would I say the ultimate solution to any problems…

I thought of making it up this holiday but still wonder if I should? Patrick advised me to seek wisdom, knowledge, and understanding from God. Wisdom in what to do, knowledge in when to do it, and understanding in how to do it…

Probably I should constantly keep praying and hope that He will grant me the answer I seek. Ask and you will receive, seek and you will be given, knock and it shall be open…

To past my time here, I’m doing some hand work which I learned from a senior, making crucifix out of fishing line and colourful beads…

I still have a long way to go and it’s not easy since I already set my mind to make a certain amount before heading back to Kelantan…

But once I’ve finish, I’ll take some pictures and put it in friendster…

By the way, this is my first official blog type with my own laptop… Cost me RM 2900/-…

It’s expensive by it’s worth for I need for my studies…

Well, I won’t promise that I’ll always post my blog as I use to do last time. But maybe I’ll post one or two more blogs before I head back to Kelantan…

It’s Wednesday, 10th of October 2007…1006 hours…

I wonder when was exactly the last time that I post my blog? It’s been a while hasn’t it? I guess some of you might be wondering if I’m still dead or alive here in Kelantan. Haha…

Well the good thing is that I’m still alive and in one peace. Thank God for that. So, where shall I start? Since I stop writing my blog for nearly three months, it’s quite difficult to begin now.

I think I’ll try to summarize what had I gone through this three months here since the day I arrive to now.

The first day that I arrived here was no surprise to me at all about the conditions in this state for I had already guess that it won’t be as pretty as Taiping but nevertheless, it ain’t such a bad place once you actually get to know the area. I mean you still can have fun here just that it’s not the same entertainment that you can have back in your hometown.

Now about my campus, there’s so many things for me to say but I’ll try to make it short. Honestly, I’m really thankful that the facilities here are sufficient and in good conditions. There is a 7-11 outlet outside my campus and a mini market so groceries is not a problem. There’s also a KFC outlet near my campus so food here is SOMETIMES NOT a problem.

There’s two type of canteen in my hostel, the Chinese vegetarian stall and the Malay stall. Still can survive I guess. From my hostel to the lecture hall is a 10 to 15 minutes walk depends on the speed that you use. The library here is quite nice especially since their change their library computers. It’s super cool now. The Internet access is excellent.

Hm.. What else? I think is time to comment a bit on my course and subjects. Honestly, it ain’t such a bad course you now. I didn’t really know at first that our country is in need for speech pathologist and audiologist. So, maybe God place me here is for a special reason and I shall accept God’s call.

The only quite bad of being a 1st year here is that all of the course. No wait. I think I better explain the system here first. There is three schools here. School of Medicine, School of Dental, and School of Health Sciences. Now my course is categorizes under School of Health Sciences and there is nine course in this school. The medics and dentals are two separate school but for the first three years, the dental students are require to study what the medics are learning.

Sounds unfair but thats the system here. Only after the third year, the dental students will fully focused on their course subjects. Another thing is that even if you don’t take Biology during your From Six or matriculation. You still can apply here because this is the only health campus that accepts physic students to do bio base course.

Now, the medics and dentals have their own different subjects to study from us. We on the other hand, have to take some subjects together during our 1st year which is Anatomy and Psychology for a start. These are the two main subjects that all 1st year students have to go through and trust me, anatomy is no joke at all. You actually need to know every bones and muscles by heart and including their functions. Though not as detail as the medics but still, it’s quite tiring sometimes to remember it all.

I’m taking seven subject for the 1st semester. Anatomy, Psychology, Child Language Development, Anatomy and Physiology of Hearing and Speaking, Community and Health, TITAS (something like sejarah), and BM. I’ll be taking English next semester.

It’s not easy nor do I say that it’s impossible to do just, you need to do a lot of revision. And yea take my advice, if you ever get to enter into the School of Health Sciences here in Kelantan, you definitely need a laptop starting in your 1st year for the assignment which will be coming your way will pill up your desk like a mountain.

I’m suffering a bit because I don’t have a laptop but I’ll get one during the 1st semester holiday in mid November.

Ok enough of that, The people and friends I meet here.

The first week of orientation I was still quite alone but I did make some new friends and then the next problem arrive is that most of the friends I made was from the medic. So that’s a big problem for once lesson start, I’ll rarely see them. But you know, it’s strange sometimes how God arrange things for you.

The day before my class start, I meet a bunch students from different course but are in the same school with me. I meet them in the PA (pejabat akademik) and that’s how my circle of friends grew.

I’ll list down the friends I made from the medic and dental students. Patrick (he’s really like a brother to me), Edwin, Henry, Billy, Chuin Hen, Guan Hua, Wei Wen, Ming Tong (the guy from Taiping ), Voon Lip, Yi Lian, Kok Liang, Chay Siang, Tee Ming, Xin Yu, Ren Ming, Regina, and the list goes on. Haha…

From my own school, Swee Mang, Adeline, Rachel Lin, Wai Hoe, Ah Do, Chon Leong, Chaw Pang, Kae Shing, Agilan, Chon Chuin, E Lynn, Mei Ay, Suet Kee, Sim Lee, Yee Leng, Yee Lin, Yin Siew, and the list goes on and of course all my course mates :).

It’s really fun hanging out with them. It really reminds me the fun that I had with my schoolmates. I do sometimes miss those time back in school and yea I do miss their silly jokes and stupid things that we use to do.

But, I’ll be coming back no doubt. During the 1st semester holiday that is in mid November for one whole month but I’ll go back earlier because I volunteer myself as the emcee for Christmas Night which is on the 17th of December

Not forgetting, I did meet Gan, Kah Howe, Chiew Fong, and Yong Ching in USM Penang when I was there for the CONVEX. Kinda active too here. Haha..

Also helped in the mooncake festival. It’s just like being in school again just that, it’s in a new environment. Haha..

You want to now a secret?

My hand is killing me. Haha… That’s enough now.

So, wish you all a pleasant holiday and Selamat Hari Raya :)…

Take care and God Bless…

It’s Saturday, 23rd of June 2007… 2133 hours…

Finally, the long awaited university’s application result was released on Monday and thank God that I was given a place in the public university and another good thing is that I was offered a course which was in my preferably choices…

I’ll be going to University Sains Malaysia but I’m not going to the main campus instead I’ll be going to the university’s hospital campus which is in Kelantan. I was offered Patologi Pertuturan (Speech Pathology) which was my third choice and although I didn’t get Forensic Science but at least I did get a course which was in my list…

And another good thing that happen today is that the offer letter from the university arrived by mail this afternoon. So, since 2 o’clock until now, I was reading through all the letters and forms and filling it one by one… Until now I still haven’t finish it but I’m halfway there but I’m still quite blur with the fees so I call them this afternoon but they ask me to call them back tomorrow morning…

The only unfortunate thing is that I’ll be going to Kelantan alone although there are some friends who will be going to USM but they will be studying in the main campus… So, It’s going to be some sort like going back to kindergarten again where I’ll be studying in a new environment and making new friends… Haha…

I also apply for the PTPTN loan but I hope that I’m entitled to it for it will really help me a lot in my fees while I’m there… I’ll be leaving to Kelantan on the 28th of this month via bus because there is only one bus to Kota Bharu everyday. My registration is on the 30th of this month…

But since the release of the result on Monday, quite a number of my friends were not offer the course which they want or given a place in any of the public university. I feel quite sorry for them but I pray that they will be given a second chance when they appeal to the UPU again… Don’t give up hope… Fight for your rights… I’ll be praying for the best for all of you…

Well next week at this exact time and day, I’ll be in Kelantan so I guess I might not be able to post a blog next week or even play Maple Story… Haha… But once I settle down there, I’ll try to look for the nearest cyber cafe…

Well then, I wish to all my friends who will be going to their respective universities. I wish you all the best and to those who are still waiting for their appeal answer from the UPU, I pray the best for you and always keep in touch… Good Luck…